a lot of people have been asking me things like 'hey, where's don
been?' 'why are there so many pictures of don on the website?' "are you
in love with don?" well, i am here today to attempt to answer these questions.
i had the disturbing opportunity to see the elusive mr. wayside this past
weekend. he was looking run down and disoriented. he did not have his glasses
on, which means he probably lost them somewhere and were stepped on, or
they were left in the last town he had been in. when i caught up with him
on milwaukee avenue just outside the double door nightclub, he was shaking
and twitching a little and kept saying (very slowly like i might not understand
him) 'i need a beer.' 'i'm with the band, can i get a beer.' that was not
the saddest part either. he still had the set list shirt on. it was dirty
and it smelled like four weeks of unemployment and cheap american beer.
once he realized who i was, the first thing he asked was 'where's ed, i
need the keys to the van?' it was worse than i thought. i shook his hand
and asked how he had been. he smiled like he had just shit his bed and said,
'i'm fine. what time are we playing tonight?' i didn't know what to make
of the whole thing. physical don came back from tour, but mental don was
still somewhere in europe.
we went back to the big horse to get a drink and i asked his girlfriend
if he's been this way since he returned home. she looked at the floor and
sadly replied 'it comes and goes. every other day, around 5:00, he says
'it's time to load in' and then he's gone. off in another world.' she continued
by telling me how he doesn't touch her anymore. he just says how he has
a girlfriend back home in the states. he stays up late watching telemundo
on channel 26 and then she finds him in the morning with a big load smeared
on his t-shirt.
she grabbed me by my arms and screamed 'what did you guys do to my donny?'
'why is he liked this?' i told her i didn't know and i'm sorry, as she sobbed
on my shoulder. all the while, don walked up to the hispanic employees asking
if they spoke english. then told them how he could "always eat a taco" and
laughed to himself like it was all brand new.
i know in vietnam, there was a name for this type of condition, but what
the hell do you call it after your first european tour? i asked him if he
has been getting the emails from everyone and he looked at me strangely.
he asked me who got the rocker of the night award yesterday, and i just
stared at him thinking, 'you poor bastard.' then i told him i did.
i was at a loss as to what to do. i felt partially responsible for this,
but then i figured out who was really responsible. it's not a who as much
as a what. it was all the previous tour stories that did this. all the 'scott,
do you remember in 95 when we played to 1000 people and they all carried
us out on their shoulders after the set?' or 'hey bryan, what town was it
that jim got up on stage dressed like willie nelson and sang 'it's not unusual'
by tom jones, in all falsetto?' don was still looking for more tour stories
and he refused to come back until he was satisfied.
so, the quick thinker that i am, an idea came to me that might bring him
back to reality. i went to my car and got my photo's. i caught don just
before he ran off in search of a foosball table and i sat him down. i opened
my photo album and started reminiscing about the tour. i recalled all the
good times and fucked up situations like 'don, remember those crazy french
guys at that pub where they would grab someone, pull down his pants and
throw a full beer at his crotch?' don laughed, but it was only the beginning.
next i asked if he remembered that night in wil, switzerland when his bracelet
broke and he couldn't play the correct notes to save his life. he laughed
and said, 'yah, the night my head fell off the cabinet!' i knew i was making
progress.
after that, i asked about his violin. i said. 'hey don, what country was
it that you bought that violin off the guy in the street? man, that was
fucking awesome.' he laughed and said, 'oh yah, that was prague. man that
night was fucked up. dinner then
straight to bed. right?' as he smirked and kept looking through the
pictures.
i figured that one more story would have him back in the real world, so
i said, 'don, what was that secret weapon you had for the last night in
harlow?' he paused, smiled, closed the photo album and said, 'you want to
get a burrito?' yes i said. don was back.
wayside rocked out hard that night. it was like nothing i had ever seen.
what else could i expected out of the guy that won 'rocker of the tour'
like he did. as much as i would have enjoyed hearing the opening riff to
"nothing at all" between songs as a little sign of camaraderie and rememberence
after all we had been through, just seeing "happy don" playing again made
everything ok.
i've been in contact with don almost everyday since that night last weekend
and he has been doing great. once in a while he slips back into "tour don"
and opens a twist off beer cap with his lighter, or asks me if i have any
lira. but we made plans to sip cappuccinos and smoke cigarettes at an outdoor
cafe this weekend, and you are all welcome to join us.
